Getting out of our comfort zone

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Time to read: 4 minutes

Hi Reader

Our comfort zone. That warm safe place that we can often feel like staying in. The one that holds us back from our true growth and potential.

But when you have phrases like “no pain, no gain” or “you have to jump off the cliff to learn to fly” it’s no wonder we choose to stay put. It sounds like growth has to hurt!

So instead, let’s take a more nuanced look at our comfort zones. Why do we really stay there? And how can we spend more time in our zone of growth? (no cliffs or pain required)

On to it…

What does it really look like?

I don’t think there are enough examples of what getting out of our comfort zone really looks and feels like. So here’s a recent one from me to get us started.

I‘d wanted to launch a newsletter for ages. My notes start in May 2022, but I was probably thinking about it well before then.

There was always a “good” reason not to. But deep down, it was fear:

• What if it wasn’t good enough?
• What if I wrote a few then ran out of ideas?
• What if nobody read it?
• Or worse, what if people read it then unsubscribe en-masse? (While laughing, pointing and generally being mean.)

So what changed between then and me launching Ignition Point last November?

Well, not much.

Those fears were still there when I launched. They still rear their head now and again.

But I pushed through them to leave my comfort zone. Because I believe in the bigger upside of sharing my knowledge to help more people achieve their full impact.

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👉 By the way, I’d love your feedback on Ignition Point - positive or constructive. Just reply to this email. I’d love to hear your thoughts.

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What keeps us in our comfort zone?

We stay in our comfort zone because of a combination of psychological, emotional and situational factors. You might often see things like “fear of failure”, “comfort in our routine” and “fear of the unknown” being mentioned.

But when we dig a little deeper, especially when it comes to our careers, I see more nuanced reasons. Here’s a few common examples:

Security: We hold on to a current role (or positioning if you’re a contractor or consultant) because we perceive there’s more security than if we went for a change.

Identity: We tie our identity to our current roles and so a change feels like a threat to the identity and reputation we’ve worked hard to build.

Abilities: We doubt our abilities to succeed in a new, stretching role. Often this is tied to underappreciating our strengths.

Work-Life: We assume that career growth only comes with a negative shift in our work-life balance.

Support: We lack the encouragement and guidance of people who’ve been on the path, so we stay put.

Relationships: We fear our ability to form new relationships that are as good as the ones we currently have, so we stay put.

The point is, we might have multiple, nuanced reasons for staying in our comfort zone. And they’re often a result of assumptions or beliefs that are being left unchallenged.

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So how do we move beyond comfort to growth?

When I work with my coaching clients, we’ll explore their purposeful ambitions, clarify what their growth would mean (for them and others), then understand what might be holding them back from fully “going for it”.

Here are 5 reflective questions that you can use to help sense whether you’re getting beyond your comfort zone.

1. When did I last do something for the first time?

A great starter question that helps you assess if you’re sticking to familiar situations, or pushing yourself to new things.

2. What am I avoiding because it feels unfamiliar or challenging?

We often have a sense of what we could or should do, but we’re holding back. Explore if that’s because of a comfort zone problem. Regularly feeling challenged (but not overwhelmed) is a great balance for growth.

3. Am I moving towards learning and growth, even if it means potential failure?

Failure can come in many forms but it’s not often critical. It’s more likely we’ll learn something valuable, then go again. We have to embrace some risk if we’re willing to achieve our full growth.

4. Am I feeling a mix of excitement and nervousness?

As you’re moving forward, if you’re not excited, then you’re probably aiming towards the wrong thing anyway. But the nervousness can be a sign that you’ve got an element of stretch. Explore it and see.

5. What would I do if I wasn’t afraid?

Putting our fears and concerns to one side can reveal some paths that we wouldn’t otherwise take. Once we know them - and the fears that are holding us back from taking them - we can find ways to manage our concerns and take the bold action that moves us forward.

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Watch out for self-trickery

There’s one final sneaky trap to mention this week. When we convince ourselves we’re out of our comfort zone, but we haven’t really left it. Another story…

In the early stages of my career I had some great growth. I got new projects and regular additions to my responsibilities. I felt like I was growing - and I was, kind of.

I knew the company well, had a good network, and work wasn’t too hard. Yes there was stretch now and again, but there was no sustained challenge.

I convinced myself that I was staying there for good reasons - convenience, family, etc. But in reality, deep down I was worried about whether I could prove myself and have the same success elsewhere.

I was stuck firmly in my comfort zone, yet convincing myself that the occasional growth was stretching enough.

In the end (after staying comfortable for way too long) I forced myself to start looking around. And guess what? I found and landed a great role, took on some real challenge for a change - and thrived.

So even if you’re feeling like you’re out of your comfort zone, have an honest check-in. Could you be stretching further? What’s stopping you from making an even bolder move? You might be surprised.

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Wrap up

Our comfort zones feel safe and warm, but we don’t grow there. So we’ve explored what keeps us there, and what getting out of them can look like and the questions we might need to ask.

And while getting out of your comfort zone doesn’t have to be painful, you might need to push through some uncomfortable thoughts and feelings.

But, well, that’s kind of the point.

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Let’s close with this week’s reflective question:

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If you’ve seen my recent posts and Ignition Point emails, you’ll know I’m launching my new Ambition Accelerator.

It’ll help ambitious, purposeful leaders and consultants who want to maximise their personal impact.

I’ve only got 3 places left, so if you want to know more just drop me a reply.

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Thanks for reading. Stay ambitious.

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Rob

Sparked Ambition Ltd

​linkedin.com/in/robstubbs​

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