Getting support with your ambition

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Time to read: 5 minutes

Hi Reader

Today's email covers two fundamental questions about personal growth:

1. How do you decide when to get support?
2. How do you choose the right coach when you do?

The questions arose from a couple of insightful conversations I had this week. Both were people I knew through LinkedIn. We talked about personal growth, coaching and ambition - plus loads more. (Hello to you both if you're reading!)

Although I kind of "knew" the answers already, I don't think we discuss them enough. It was helpful to explore them in the conversation. Then I reflected afterwards - to capture and expand on my thoughts.

As an aside, I often take reflective notes like this. It helps me refine my thought process, which then inspires LinkedIn posts, prompts discussions in my coaching programme, or gives me ideas for the newsletter. It's why I love having conversations about personal development.

But that's enough about how the questions came about. Let's dig into some answers...

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Why not go alone?

We often have a strong drive for independence. And when it comes to our personal development that can mean feeling that we need to grow alone.

We want to do the exploration and research. Learn everything ourselves. Make mistakes. Reflect on the lessons. Then strive for what's next.

I understand that solo drive. I share it too.

It often comes from not wanting to feel dependent on others. From wanting to fully own our sense of achievement and satisfaction.

Or it might just be that we don't feel ready for support. We're moving along OK. Progress feels fine. So we'll worry about getting help when things get tougher or busier.

However, there are ways to get support without diminishing our sense of achievement. And doing this sooner rather accelerates our progress and avoids waiting until it's painful.

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A spectrum of support

As a thought experiment, let's think of two extremes.

• At one end, we do everything ourselves from first principles.
• At the other, we outsource everything with no care for the details.

Neither is particularly appealing when it comes to our growth. But they're just the extremes. It's the nuance within them that's important.

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Sometimes the value is in the learning journey. We need to try, fail, then try again. Each stumble builds knowledge and resilience that will serve us well. But they can be hard yards.

Sometimes we need help so that we're not learning everything from first principles. There's a benefit in being shown the ropes, the rules of the game, or the "obvious" mistakes that the uninitiated would make.

Other times, we find that greater support is beneficial. It accelerates our progress and reduces the dead-ends. We benefit from the hard-won experience and wisdom of others.

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It might even improve the highest potential of our outcomes: Think of a self-taught musician who doesn't learn basic technique and struggles to progress to the tricker pieces, or a golfer who's never had any help with their swing and can't get to a single-digit handicap.

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Retaining independence

So if we want help, but want to retain that sense of independence and achievement, what are the options?

Well, support comes in many forms.

To start, consider coaching vs. mentoring vs. teaching vs. "done for you". Four distinct points on a nuanced range, each with a different level of facilitated self-discovery.

Support can encourage, point the way, get us unstuck, shift our perspective, teach us new skills, shine a light on things we can't see, and so much more.

But when we think about support in isolation we miss a bigger picture. What we're actually doing is navigating the balance between:

• The depth of our learning journey
• The speed to reach our desired outcomes (and unlock whatever's next)
• The quality of the outcomes we achieve
• The level of "independence" we feel through the process
• Our satisfaction, frustration, enthusiasm and probably a few other factors too!

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Pick a flavour of support that works for you.

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The right time to get a coach

This question implies there might be a wrong time, or at least a suboptimal time to get a coach.

But if we think about the different points we could get help (on an admittedly artificially linear spectrum) we find that there's a role for coaching at each stage, although it can feel quite different:

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1: Creating Foundations: The stage when you're just starting out. Or feeling stuck or lost, possibly facing significant challenges or setbacks.

Coaching here focuses on identifying core issues, setting foundational goals, and building motivation to take initial steps toward improvement and growth.

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2: Building Momentum: At this level, you've overcome initial hurdles and want to build progress.

Coaching focuses on strengthening skills, improving consistency, and establishing a clear direction for further growth.

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3: Expanding Capabilities: You're functioning well but want to expand your skills, capabilities and horizons.

Coaching broadens your perspectives, deepens your reflection, embeds new strategies, and integrates more complex skills and a more nuanced mindset.

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4: Developing Mastery: You're performing strongly and focused on refining your mindset and skills for full effect.

Coaching here enhances your effectiveness, optimises processes, and irons out issues and remaining limiting beliefs to achieve more effective outcomes.

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Peak Performance: You're already a high performer and looking to push the boundaries of your capabilities.

Coaching unlocks untapped potential at new levels, blows open your horizons, integrates personal and professional strategies, and supports high performance over time.

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Coaching has a role to play at each stage (as do other forms of support). But the focus will be different. The tools used may be different. And there are different desired outcomes in mind.

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Finding the “right” coach

So if you're going to get a coach, how do you choose? There are quite a few out there!

Well, it's quite a personal decision but in the conversations, I broke it down into these core steps.

First, start with a general sense of the problem you want to solve or the opportunity you want to explore. It might change as a coaching relationship develops and you dig deeper, but a clear starting point helps.

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Shortlist potential coaches, considering factors like; relevant experience, testimonials, approach, rapport, availability, and investment level. You might have other factors you want to consider as well.

The style and specialisms of a coach are important too. Some lean heavily on frameworks, others take different levels of pragmatism about coaching vs mentoring.

My style is more of a hybrid coach and mentor. I lean heavily on coaching questions and techniques to prompt deeper reflection and understanding. I also have significant experience that I can bring to bear as needed.

But there's no single right answer. It's about what will work best for you.

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Then have some conversations. Ask them about how they'd help you and what they've done before that's relevant.

I do this regularly on my free intro calls as it's a great way to explore your situation, ask a few challenging questions (so you get a feel for working together) and see if I think I can help.

And, as Caroline Clark rightly mentioned recently, an ethical coach will always be checking and letting you know if they're not the right coach for you. Ask them about how good a fit they think they are.

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Wrap up

I enjoyed exploring these questions and I hope you did too.

Support isn't one-size-fits all. It doesn't have to diminish our sense of independence (in fact, it might improve it) and there are different types of support depending on where we're at in our own journey.

So as you reflect on how you're progressing, ask yourself:

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If you've got any thoughts on this topic. Or if there's a question you'd like to see me explore in a future edition, please drop me a reply. I always love to hear from you.

Until then, thanks for reading. Stay ambitious.

Rob

Sparked Ambition Ltd

​linkedin.com/in/robstubbs​

If you'd like more support to achieve your purposeful ambitions, there are 3 ways I can help you:

1. Ambition Accelerator. My high-impact, small-group programme. I help you identify the ambitious, purposeful impact that you want to make. Then build the strategy and mindset to make it happen. Find out more on a free consultation call.
2. Bespoke 1:1 coaching. Work directly with me on your personalised agenda and goals. Book a free call to discuss your needs and how I can help.
3. Take the free Purposeful Impact assessment. Uncover where you're already in a strong position, and what might be holding you back. Take the assessment (5 minutes)

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